Subspace definition kink
How do I care for myself when I hit subspace?Īs I said above, it is very difficult to give a fuck about anything while in subspace. Let them know how much you appreciate that they trust you and were willing to participate in play with you. Gently treat the impact zones with soothing lotion or oil (such as aloe, vitamin E, or arnica).
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Make them some herbal tea and give them something light to eat their body is healing and replenishing itself, so do what you can to help this process happen as comfortably as possible. Even in a casual encounter, it’s important to devote time to gentle cuddling, stroking, and general coddling. (gif: ) How do I care for my partner when they hit subspace?įor the dominant partner, aftercare generally means being very affectionate, giving lots of cuddles, and making your partner feel as comfortable, loved, and valued as possible. Sometimes it happens despite our best efforts to avoid it, but there are things that we can do to help nurture the pleasure of subspace and mitigate sub-drop while in transition back to “normal”.
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Anyway, doesn’t sound like fun, does it? It’s not fun, I can tell you first hand. Here is a more extensive article that explains sub-drop in detail, for your reference. It’s not uncommon for people to “sub-drop” out of subspace this refers to unexplained post-scene feelings of depression, listlessness, lowered self-worth, neediness, and questioning the value of the experience that they have just enjoyed. If someone is left in subspace without appropriate aftercare (this is what we call post-scene activity), the intense emotions and sensations they are feeling can very easily redirect into negative thought and emotion patterns. So, I think you can probably guess that it is extremely important that the dominant partner be able to recognize and understand how to respond if and when the submissive partner reaches subspace during or after a scene. It’s a very vulnerable state to be in, which, in the right context, creates a pleasurable and exhilarating sense of affection and intimacy between partners. This mental state often comes with heightened suggestibility, meaning that the sub becomes very receptive, pliable, and open to suggestion, not unlike a hypnotic trance. Many feel overwhelmed by need for gentle physical contact and comfort, and even find themselves regressing to a childlike state in which they only feel capable of curling up with a blanket and their partner. I, and many others, find that in subspace our cognitive capacities are significantly impaired, and we feel to damn good to worry about it. The endorphin flood effects the mind as much as it does the body, and that is where all the give-a-fuck goes: washed away by the chemical rush taking over the brain. It becomes difficult to focus, both visually and cognitively, owing primarily to the overwhelming lack of give-a-fuck that happens in subspace. My muscles grow extremely relaxed, and my limbs usually feel very heavy, limp, and difficult to control, as though they had “fallen asleep”. At the onset of the endorphin flood, physically, I find that my body buzzes and tingles, and is simultaneously very sensitive and able to take and enjoy extreme amounts of pain. Subspace is not just a state of feeling very submissive to your partner, though that’s certainly an element of it. This is a bit of a tricky question to answer, as people experience things differently depending on partners, contexts, and moods, but there are a few general traits of subspace that most people tend to encounter.
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This one will be no different as always, I write primarily from my experience and the experiences of those who’ve shared with me. This is a very basic definition, as brains are complicated and even the foremost neuroscientists aren’t quite sure how exactly they work, so analyses of the nature of subspace tend to be largely anecdotal. For those who don’t know about altered states of consciousness, an altered state is basically a state in which your brainwaves are functioning in ways other than your basic defaults of “awake and alert” and “sleeping”. (img: )Īs I mentioned last week, “subspace” is the term we use for the altered state of consciousness that a sub can achieve through prolonged intense stimulation, pain/trauma play and multiple subsequent endorphin floods.